Magnus Mills Books

Tales of Muffled Oars is English History with all the nasty bits left out.

This wry and uncanny tale is one of civilization and discontent, of community and solitude, of domesticity and adventure, of leaders and followers.

We'd only travelled a few miles when I started wondering how I could rid myself of the three sunbathers. This might sound churlish but actually I felt I owed them no debt of gratitude.

They were probably quite surprised on the Wednesday afternoon when the clearances began. All along the coast, thousands of sunbathers were rounded up without warning and taken away in vans.In the follow-up to The Trouble with Sunbathers, will the president ever stop interfering? Or will it be his son-in-law?

As the wet Lakeland fells grow misty and the holiday season draws to a close; as the tourists trickle away from the campsite, along with the sunshine, and the hot water, and the last of the good beer - a man accidentally spills a tin of green paint, and thereby condemns himself to death.

There's no doubt that the president was a man of extraordinary ability. His decision to purchase the British Isles was widely acclaimed as an act of genius. It solved our financial difficulties at a stroke. Even so, he could never claim to understand the British people. Not properly.

Meet Tam and Richie: two dour Scots labourers. Clad in denim, work-shy, permanently discontented, intent on getting to the pub every night come hell or high water - in short, akin to your average British workers. But Tam and Richie, with their new supervisor, begin to display hidden depths.

'He has no literary precedent, and he also appears to have no imitators. He mines a seam that no one else touches on, every sentence in every book having a Magnus Mills ring to it that no other writer could produce' Independent

From Magnus Mills, the acknowledged master of the working-class dystopic parable--a genre he practically invented--a new work of comic genius The whole idea is simple yet so perfect: men drive to and from strategically placed warehouses in Univans--identical and serviceable vehicles--transporting replacement parts for. . .Univans. Gloriously self-perpetuating, the Scheme was designed to give an honest day’s wage for an honest day’s labor. That it produces nothing does not obtain. Our hero in Magnus Mills’ mesmerizing new work is a five-year veteran of the Scheme: he knows the best routes, the easiest managers, the quickest ways in and out. Inevitably, trouble begins to brew. A woman arrives on the scene. Some workers develop delivery sidelines. And most disturbing of all, not all participants are in agreement. There are “Flat-Dayers,” who believe the Scheme’s eight-hour day is sacrosanct and inviolable, and there are “Swervers,” who fancy being let off a little early now and again. Disagreement turns to argument, argument to debate, debate to outright schism. Soon the Flat-Dayers and Swervers have pushed the Scheme to the very brink of disaster. . .and readers to the edge of their chairs in delight.

The brilliant new novel by the author of The Restraint of Beasts

In a lush meadow, bounded by dense forest and a sparkling river, the flags of several tents flutter in the breeze, rich with the promise of halcyon days. Yet all is not as tranquil as it may seem: the balance of power wrought between the occupants of The Great Field, as it is properly known, is a delicate one, and relationships are stretched to breaking point when a new, large and disciplined group offers to share its surplus of milk pudding. Only the narrator acknowledges the gesture, but by forging links with the newcomers he becomes a conduit for change, change that threatens The Great Field.

'He has no literary precedent, and he also appears to have no imitators. He mines a seam that no one else touches on, every sentence in every book having a Magnus Mills ring to it that no other writer could produce' - "Independent". In "Hark the Herald", a guest stays at an eerie guesthouse over Christmas without encountering any other residents, despite constant reassurance from the landlord that he would see them if only he arrived for breakfast slightly earlier; in "Only When the Sun Shines Brightly" Aesop's fable about a competition between the Sun and the Wind to get a man to take his coat off, gets a new look involving a railway arch, a builder and a piece of plastic sheeting; in "Once in a Blue Moon", a man arrives home to find the family house under siege, with his mother armed, dangerous and firing at the police with a shotgun, and attempts to appease her with an invitation to seasonal hospitality; and, in the title story, rivalry between three cousins over a faulty toy gets out of hand as the cousins unwittingly imitate the toy they're fighting over. Magnus Mills has published two collections of stories - "Only When the Sun Shines Brightly" and "Once in a Blue Moon" - which are collected here for the first time, along with three new stories.

Mills uses his blokes in the back of a pub to tell a massively ambitious story . A story that could be read as a disguised retelling of the Russian revolution, or the Reformation, or the Sunni-Shia schism, or any great human falling out. As soon as you form any kind of us, Mills suggests, a them will form in response. In this, The Forensic Records Society is like Animal Farm but with blokes for pigs, and much better songs Guardian

'Once In A Blue Moon' brings together a collection of darkly humorous short stories from the best-selling author of 'The Restraint Of Beasts', 'All Quiet On The Orient Express' and 'Three To See The King'.