Jarski Rosemarie Books

Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.' - Homer Simpson'All I know is I'm not a Marxist.' - Karl Marx'I'm the pink sheep of the family.' - Alexander McQueen

A collection of wit and wisdom which explodes the old stereotypes of knitting grannies and doddering grandpas.

Old is the new young! Grey is the new black! Rocking chairs are the new rock 'n' roll! Saga-louts are the new lager-louts! This collection of wrinklie wit and wisdom is proof-positive that the stereotypes of knitting grannies and doddering granddads just aren't true anymore - if, indeed, they ever were.

Author Rosemarie Jarski here offers up the perfect how-to guide, illuminating the darkest corner of the household with all those things our parents and grandparents should have taught us. This hands-on, down-to-earth guide focuses on those household problems and challenges you are most likely to encounter in real *How to fit a duvet cover onto a duvet *How to stop a dripping faucet *How to unclog a sink *How to use a power drill *How to remove sticky labels *And much more! Domestic Bliss is Rosemarie's own unique and characteristically witty handbook that fills the gap left by the generation before us. The essential skills of how to keep your house from falling apart are not taught in school, and our parents were so busy earning a living they had no time to pass on the wisdom the world sees as "common sense." Well, common sense is not so common these days. Domestic Bliss is a gem of a book, covering a whole range of topics from painting, decorating, personal grooming, and brown paper packages tied up with string. The chapters are clear and concise, and small enough to pick up when needed. So, don't call your mom or dad when you have a question or problem around the house, just turn to Rosemarie Jarski for Domestic Bliss.

Scriptwriters from Raymond Chandler to S.J. Perelman penned lines for everyone from Humphrey Bogart to Groucho Marx. It was the era of comedy with acts like Abbot and Costello and W.C. Fields. This collection mixes classic Hollywood lines with little-known wisecracks.

Fields, Dorothy Parker, Joan Rivers, Jo Brand, Mark Lamarr and Victor Meldrew are just some of the world-class curmudgeons to sound-off hilariously about all the things that make you seethe: traffic wardens, cold callers, caravans, James Blunt, estate agents, other drivers, being put on hold, men in flip- flops and modern art.

Whether for the bathroom or bedside entertainment or as a work of reference or self-improvement, The Funniest Thing You Never Said is the biggest and best humorous quotation book there is--a complete one-stop shop of witty one-liners. Quotations are ordered not by A-Z, but by thematic categories: love, business, religion, celebrity, you name it, every category is covered. The collection includes all the classics from Oscar Wilde to Winston Churchill, Dorothy Parker to Groucho Marx, but also mines many new hidden gems from lesser lights and includes many contemporary quotes by everyone from Jilly Cooper to Jonathan Ross. A standard companion for new collectors, and a fresh perspective for serious quotation addicts.

Arranged thematically—from Class and Character, Sex and Snobbery, to the Foreigner’s Eye View—here is the definitive collection of the British nation’s funniest quotations. Among the many great and good who dazzle us with their wit are Martin Amis, Jane Austen, Billy Connolly, Quentin Crisp, Roald Dahl, John Lennon, Queen Victoria, and Oscar Wilde.

'A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees,' as William Blake so aptly put it.