An unflinchingly honest and visceral account of the impossible ethical choices required by medical emergencies, as told by a heroic doctor who has deployed to wars, refugee crises, air crashes, earthquakes, typhoons, volcanoes, and disease outbreaks for over thirty years. The author’s story of tireless hard work and astonishing bravery features tales of hope and redemption alongside untold suffering and mismanagement. This unique narrative reflects decades of incredible altruism, taking readers from the wards of Manchester's Nightingale hospital to Kosovo, Sierra Leone's Ebola outbreak, Kashmir, Haiti, and the Philippines, where the author risks life and limb to help those affected by uncontrollable events. While humanitarian work and medicine require innate goodness, not all involved have benign motives. Saving lives demands difficult choices between relieving suffering and weighing the context, as medical aid can sometimes cause more harm than good. This account explores how life-or-death decisions are made under pressure, the consequences of actions or inaction, and the moral dilemmas faced by those wanting to help but feeling powerless. Ultimately, it reveals the personal toll—physical, mental, and social—of frontline medicine while offering a tale of optimism, persistence, and triumph over adversity, celebrating the resilience of both helpers and those they save.
