Robert Fleming Rankin Books

'Ahead, where once had been only bombsite land, the Lateinos and Romiith building rose above Brentford. Within its cruel and jagged shadow, magnolias wilted in their window boxes and synthetic Gold Top became doorstep cheese...'Something sinister is happening east of Ealing.

Darwin, the Educated Ape, sets off on another madcap adventure through time, space and chickens in the conclusion to Robert Rankin's series of steampunk adventures.

No, this time, to save the world as we know it, the lads must contemplate - nay, undertake - the most horrible, the most terrifying, the heretofore untried - REGULAR EMPLOYMENT!!!

I should never have got up so early today and all over Brentford electrical appliances were beginning to fail...'Could it be that Pooley and Omally, whilst engaged on a round of allotment golf, mistook laser-operated gravitational landing beams for the malignant work of Brentford Council?

There is nothing more powerful than a bad idea whose time has come. And there can be few ideas less bad or more potentially apocalyptic than that hatched by genetic scientist Dr Stephen Malone.

When Rex is confronted with The Singular Case of the Purloined Presliana, and the Luminous Order of the Sacred Sprout, he realises things are getting out of control...

An epic in four movements, this is the third book in Robert Rankin's highly acclaimed meta-Victorian series. Comparable to Pratchett or Douglas Adams, the Father of Far Fetched Fiction has pulled out all of the stops with this riotous tale of wicked women, a dangerous detective and Darwin the educated ape. Lord Brentford has a dream. To create a Grand Exposition that will showcase The Wonders of the Worlds and encourage peace between the inhabited planets of Venus, Jupiter and Earth. Ernest Rutherford has a dream. To construct a time ship, powered by the large hadron collider he has built beneath the streets of London. Cameron Bell is England's greatest detective and he, too, has a dream. To solve the crime of the century before it takes place, without blowing up any more of London's landmarks. Darwin is a monkey butler and he also has a dream. To end Man's inhumanity to Monkey and bring a little joy into the world. Lavinia Dharkstorrm has a dream of her own. Although hers is more of a nightmare. To erase Man and Monkey alike from the face of the Earth and to hasten in the End of Days. Then there is the crime-fighting superlady, all those chickens from the past and the unwelcome arrival of The Antichrist. Things are looking rather grim on planet Earth.

Another wild and wacky adventure from the Master of Far Fetched Fiction!

There's big trouble in little Brentford. Property developers are planning to destroy the borough's beloved football ground and build executive homes on the site. Shock! Outrage! Horror! Something must be done to halt this iconoclasm. The lads of The Flying Swan, Brentford's most celebrated drinking house, take up the challenge. Norman the corner shopkeeper has some ideas. He's recently discovered a Victorian computer which holds the plans to the secret super-technology of a bygone age. And Archroy, Brentford's lone yachtsman and explorer, has just returned from his seventh voyage, bringing with him the fabled Golden Fleece. There's Jim Pooley and John Omally, unemployed batchelors of this parish. And that Victorian time traveller who's crash-landed on the allotments. Surely with all these stalwarts working for the cause, Brentford's football ground can be saved? Would it were so, but this is Brentford and ancient forces of evil are forever stirring in the borough. Old Testament terrors, Lovecraftian loathsomes and beasties from the bottomless pit. And if the team make it through to the final, it's going to be a match that no one will forget. What with the fate of mankind hanging upon the result. And everything. In this, the first ever Book of Brentford, which is also the second book in The Witches of Chiswick trilogy, the Father of Far Fetched Fiction spins an epic yarn which will no doubt become a modern classic.

Hugo Rune returns. And just in time, for the evil fairies of Brentford are planning to conquer the world. To publicise his mission, Hugo plans to kidnap the Queen while she addresses the world before a gig by the greatest rock band on earth, Gandhi's Hairdryer.

The longed-for sequel to Rankin's bestselling and award winning THE HOLLOW CHOCOLATE BUNNIES OF THE APOCALYPSE

The biggest conspiracy theory book in the world, ever! Now slightly smaller because its in paperback!

He becomes funnier the more you read him.' Independent It has always been John Omally's secret ambition to become a rock star. In his youth he mastered air guitar and wardrobe-mirror posing, but he lacked that certain something. Talent. But at last an opportunity has arisen for John to get into 'The Industry'. A band called Gandhi's Hairdryer are looking for a manager, so all John has to do is persuade them that he is the new Brian Epstein. It should be a piece of cake. But - and there's always a but - there is something rather odd about this band. Something other-worldly. It might be the lead singer, whose voice has the power to heal. Might she be an angel, perhaps? Or could she be the Devil in disguise? Because, after all, the Devil does have all the best tunes. And this is Brentford. In this, his final offering of the twentieth century, Robert Rankin returns to the town of his birth, the friends of his youth and one of the loves of his life- Rock Music. 'Everybody should read at least one Robert Rankin in their life.' Daily Express

This story uncovers suburbia's darkest secrets - mostly in The Flying Swan, a cosmic Rovers Return where Neville the barman and Archroy, owner of five magic beans, do battle with beasts of the occult and in particular the rather unpleasant Pope Alexander VI, the last of the Borgias.

Were you aware that there are, hidden in the streets of Brighton, twelve ancient constellations, like the Hangleton Hound and the Bevendean Bat? Well, there are, and on each one hangs a tale, a tale so strange that only The Lad Himself, that inveterate spinner of tales and talker of the toot, Hugo Rune, can get to the bottom of them. And he'd better do it quickly, because if he doesn't solve the dozen mysteries before the year is out, that'll be the end of the world as we know it.

Fade: Into You, Into Me, Into Always, a collection of three novellas, follows the passionate, yet perilous relationship of Olivia Rowland and Max Dalton. Contains mature themes.

We have all been lied to. A great and sinister conspiracy exists to keep us from uncovering the truth about our past. Have you ever wondered how Victorians dreamed up all that fantastic futuristic fiction? Did it ever occur to you that it might just have been based upon fact? That THE WAR OF THE WORLDS was a true account of real events? That Captain Nemo' s Nautilus even now lies rusting at the bottom of the North Sea? That there really was an invisible man? And what about the other stuff? Did you know that Queen Victoria had a sexual relationship with Dr Watson? Or that the elephant man was a product of an E.T./human hybridisation programme? Or that Jack the Ripper was a terminator robot sent from the future? Read on: and learn how a cabal of Victorian Witches from the Chiswick Townswomen's Guild, working with advanced Babbage super-computers, rewrote 19th Century history, and how a 23rd Century boy called Will Starling uncovered the truth about everything.

Buddhavision - a network bigger than God (and more powerful, too). Even with all this excitement, you wouldn't think a backwater planet like Earth makes much of a splash in the galatic pond. And alien TV execs know exactly what the old earth drama needs to make the off-world audience sit up and stare: a spectacular Armageddon-type finale.

His great-great grandfather died at the Battle of Little Big Horn. His grandfather (lay precher, large sideburns, taste for sprouts) spoke only in rhyming couplets (to please the ghost of his dead wife) and owned a pig called Belshazzar that dined exclusively upon the aforementioned vegetables and did strange things on the back parlour wall.

Robert Rankin's Far-Fetched-Fictional Steampunk sequel to THE WAR OF THE WORLDS!

There is big and evil magic upon the face of the Earth, and history has consequently been changed. The Germans have won World War II; America is a nuclear wasteland; and worst of all the breakfast menu at The Wife's Legs Café in Brentford is serving bratwurst rather than the proper British sausage. When the world is all wrong and it needs setting right, the only hope left is Hugo Rune, a man who offers the world his genius and asks only that his expenses be covered. Hugo, also known as the hokus bloke, the Lad Himself, and the Retromancer, sets out to rewrite history the way it should be, with the aid of his faithful acolyte and companion Rizla. Together they return to war-torn London to solve the 12 cosmic conundrums based upon Hugo's personal tarot deck, each mystery leading them closer to a final terrifying confrontation. They must match their wits against beautiful spies, advanced alien technology, killer robots, and death rays; do battle with an ancient god; and come face to face once more with Hugo Rune's arch-enemy, the sinister Count Otto Black.

Danny is not sad and lonely any more, because he has "the voice"—the voice of an imaginary dog called Demolition. The dog tells him what to do, like how to adjust the bar code reader in the shop so he can read what people are thinking. Soon, Danny can bend others to his will, and fears no other man.

A hilarious comic fantasy from the bestselling cult creator of the Brentford Triangle Trilogy

ONE IN EVERY THREE PEOPLE LIVING IS ACTUALLY DEAD! It is a matter of historical record that during the latter part of World War II, England's top-secret Ministry of Serendipity enlisted the services of arch-magician Aleister Crowley to create a Homunculus. Why? Well that's a long story, spanning almost seven decades as it follows the life and career of Tyler, rock star, private eye - and notable for the fact that he almost saved Mankind. The cast of millions also includes ukulele maestro George Formby, Mick Jagger, Mama Cass, Elvis Presley and Lazlo Woodbine. And Tyler's brother, Andy, who impersonates animals (and who single-handedly brought about the Swinging Sixties). And a lady named Clara from Croydon, who unlocked the meta-phenomena of the Multiverse. And a corner shopkeeper from Brentford, who created a sitting room for God. And a great many living dead. Oh yes, and it also involves a monster in human form whose intention it is to turn the Earth into a Necrosphere, a planet totally devoid of life ...

Exploring the development of quantum physics, this book delves into the contributions of mathematicians and physicists who shaped this groundbreaking theory. It highlights the unsettling implications of quantum mechanics for humanity's understanding of the universe. With vibrant diagrams and photographs, the text simplifies complex mathematical concepts, making them accessible to readers. The combination of science and history offers an engaging perspective on the evolution of quantum theory and its profound impact on our worldview.

Australia - Wild Places is simply a book of pictures of this country's wildest regions. Australia has such stunning wild places that no further embellishment is needed. Through a lifetime of exploring and photographing this country's most remote regions, Robert Rankin has compiled a collection of what he considers to be some of the best wilderness landscapes of Australia.

Raymond's had a rough couple of days. Snatched from his allotment by a flying starfish from Uranus and sold as a delicacy in a Venusian food market, it seems like his luck has changed when he is rescued by the travelling circus. But then this isn't an ordinary circus.

They wrote it off as a scare story. The Millennium Bug, the non-event of the twentieth century. But they were wrong, because the Bug was real. Is real. It's a computer virus and it's about to make the deadly species cross-over, from machine to mankind. The Black Death was spread by rats. But this plague will be spread by a mouse. The computer mouse. And do you know how many different kinds of computer viruses there are? And just what they do? And just what they might do to you if you become infected? No? Then read this book and learn the terrible truth. Or perhaps you'd rather take a holiday in Brentfordland®? Formerly known as Brentford, this Thamesside Shangri La is now London's first ever suburban theme park and holiday village. A world of excitement, relaxation and fabulous fun, waiting just for you. To find out more, log on to the Brentfordland® web site. Just give your computer mouse a wiggle. Go on. What harm can it do?

Rankins neuster Roman bietet wieder einmal alles: Im "Necronet werden nämlich ALLE Wünsche wahr (ja, alle), man muss nur wie einst Faust seine Seele verkaufen. An wen? Barry den Zeitkohl? Lazlo Woodbine, den genialen Detektiv? Oder an die mysteriöse Voodoo-Handtasche, die sich von alten Omas ernährt? Lesen Sie selbst ...

. Dezember 1999. Schlag Mitternacht sind alle Computersysteme der Welt ausgefallen (Sie erinnern sich bestimmt daran). Das Ende der Zivilisation war da. Ja und? Hat sich viel verändert? Nicht wirklich. Bis auf die Tatsache, dass Schnupftabak ein sagenhaftes Comeback erlebt und das Antlitz der Welt (zumindest deren Nase) extrem verändert. Der schnupfenden Menschheit erschließen sich plötzlich ganz neue Dimensionen. Und neue Gefahren. Wer den Nießnutz an den Tabakvorräten hat, regiert die Welt. Und das will jede Pappnase ... Bei der Lektüre dieses Buches empfehlen wir dringend, mehrere Taschentücher bereitzuhalten. Genuss führt zu Niesen.

In "Toy City" begibt sich Jack auf ein Abenteuer in einer gefährlichen Stadt, wo ein Serienkiller die Märchentanten bedroht. Bill Winkie, der Privatschnüffler, wird in ein spannendes und verrücktes Abenteuer verwickelt, das die Leser fesseln wird.

Právě opouštíte éru vodnáře. Po dobu startu ze své hlavy zůstaňte prosím sedět.. Mělo to co dělat s dějinnými cykly. Se vznikem a zánikem velkých civilizací. Se zlatým věkem a dobou temna. A tak podobně. Na počátku si toho všimlo jen málo lidí. Tedy těch změn. Však také byly zprvu těžko postřehnutelné. Kupříkladu, že vůdce opozice vyzval ministerského předsedu, aby s ním šel ven a vzájemné neshody si vyřídili jako chlap s chlapem ručně. Nebo že se na Davea, který stál ve frontě u pokladny supermarketu, vrhla pečená šunka. Vyložené drobnosti. Jenže holt rostly. A když si konečně všichni uvědomili, že se děje něco divného, bylo už příliš pozdě. Země zanechala věk vědy a rozumu daleko za sebou a vrátila se do mytologických dob. Do éry legend a bájných hrdinů. Do časů zázraků a kouzel. Nadešel čas pořádně se rozhoupat a skočit do Zahrady nadpozemských rozkoší.