Henry N. Beard Book order

'A definitive (and often hilarious) guide to affect-transformative truth- obfuscatory locutions (that is, euphemisms and other deceptive language).'§-Steven Pinker, author of The Language Instinct and The Sense of Style§§'I never thought I'd say that a dictionary is a must-read, but Spinglish is a must-read. There, I've said it. It's also, brilliant, funny, sophisticated and subtle (although it made me laugh out loud).'§-Victor S. Navasky§§'This statement is one hundred percent free of spin: Spinglish proves, once again, that Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf are two of the funniest people in the world.'§-Andy Borowitz§§'[ Spinglish ] is one of those perfect bathroom books....all our worst neologisms from the worlds of politics, advertising, the military and whatever other industries have need for terminological subterfuge...lovingly footnoted so that curious readers can flips to the back of the book for sourcing.'§-Michael Ian Black, The New York Times Book Review§§'A serious, comprehensive, and informative lexicon of terms and phrases that 'spin doctors' have used to gloss over real meaning...enlightening and often just plain funny.'§- Library Journal

In Encyclopedia Paranoiaca, master satirists Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf have assembled an authoritative, disturbingly comprehensive, and utterly debilitating inventory of things poised to harm, maim, or kill you – all of them based on actual research about the perils of everyday life. Beard and Cerf cite convincing evidence that everyday things we consider healthy – eating leafy greens, flossing, washing our hands – are actually harmful, and items we thought were innocuous – drinking straws, flip-flops, neckties, skinny jeans – pose life-threatening dangers. Did you know that nearly ten thousand people are sent to A&E each year because of escalator accidents? And if you're crossing your legs right now, you're definitely at serious risk.

Blending historical facts with whimsical imagination, this book traces the origins of golf back to 732 AD, featuring amusing anecdotes like a relic of St. Andrew adorned with a copper bracelet. It humorously references 1492 as the year Columbus supposedly discovered Tiger Woods' birthplace. This unique approach makes it an ideal gift for both avid and casual golfers, offering a lighthearted take on the sport's history.

From the master of parodies comes the unauthorized history of the world's most infuriating yet irresistible game

In staff meetings and singles bars, on freeways and fairways, there are aggravating people lurking everywhere these days. But bestselling humorist Henry Beard has the perfect comeback for all prickly situations, offering a slew of quips your nemesis won't soon forget . . . or even understand.Beard's gift is his ability to make fun of popular culture and the current zeitgeist. In X-Treme Latin he provides Latin with an attitude, an indispensable phrasebook that taps the secret power of Latin to deliver, in total safety, hundreds of impeccable put-downs, comebacks, and wisecracks. Within its pages you will learn how to insult or fire coworkers; blame corporate scandals on someone else; cheer at a World Wrestling Entertainment match; talk back to your computer, TV, or Game Boy; deal with your road rage; evade threatening situations; snowboard in style; talk like Tony Soprano; and much more.With dozens more zingers for quashing e-mail pranks, psyching out your golf opponent, giving backhanded compliments, and evading awkward questions, X-Treme Latin is destined for magnus popularity and will have readers cheering, “Celebremus!”

This volume is an amusing look at the world of golf. It contains new definitions such as that for whiff - familiar term widely misused to describe particularly fast and powerful style of practice swing intentionally made directly over the ball. schovat popis

Leslie Nielsen, the World's Greatest Bad Golfer, teams up with humorist Henry Beard to produce a golf book for legions of hopeless duffers who know in their heart of hearts that no matter how much they practice, no matter what new tip they follow, no matter what foolproof method they embrace, they are never going to improve. Lavishly illustrated with more than 100 photos of the master himself, this bestselling golf parody is the perfect gift for Father's Day.

Sometimes childish, sometimes rude, always clever and always very, very funny this book has delighted most, and outraged a few, Tolkien fans in the US for nearly 30 years. Pulling in references to popular culture and fantasy literature as a whole this is a killingly effective parody of Lord of the Rings. From the dreary Goddamn (Gollum), to the feckless Arrowroot (Aragorn), the bungling Goodgulf (Gandalf) to the timid, meanminded boggies Frito (Frodo) and Dildo (Bilbo) no character is safe. Fleeing the Nozdrul, bored by acid-casualty Tim Benzedrine and harrassed throughout by the minions of Sorhed the fellowship move through a Middle Earth like no other. Short, sharp and very much to the point even Tolkien would be hard-pressed to surpress a giggle at Bored of the Rings.

This illustrated Zen manual for cats explores and uncovers the whys and wherefores of a cat's spiritualism, including Butsuneko Shingyo (the teachings of Buddha's cat), Isu Bushi (the sofa samurai), and Ninja-gaku (the art of the silent attack).