The Absolutely True Story of Us

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There are only two people in the world that I truly hate. One of them is unpacking his toothbrush in my bathroom, and the other one is texting me to find out what color my panties are. Pathetic, I know. I'm a romance novelist caught between the man I used to love, and the one who wants to destroy my career. Well - maybe "destroy" is too strong of a word. But there's still no excuse for why I started a secret cyber-affair with a snarky reviewer who likes to rip my books apart. Yes, he's mysterious, and yes, he has a silver tongue, but I can't keep doing this. I have to focus on my fake relationship, with my *real* ex, all in the name of fooling my family. They think I've found the love of my life, and I'm determined not to let them find out the truth. That I lied. That my "dream guy" is really a selfish dirtbag who broke my heart. That the closest thing I have to a soulmate is a stranger on the internet, who's happy to sext me while believing I'm in a committed relationship. It all started with five little words. Based on a true story...